Plans and the Satisfying Crumpling of Paper When I Toss Them Out + an Announcement
A fun announcement and a few approaches to advice on finding time to write
First, the announcement: HOPELESSLY TEAVOTED TO YOU has a title change! It is now HOPELESSLY TEAVOTED, and it is still coming sometime in Spring 2025.
The title always makes me think of a scene in Pushing Daisies where Kristin Chenoweth is singing “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” originally by Olivia Newton John, because I love the original and the cover. That scene is magnificently done; Olive Snook is singing about her unrequited love for Ned the pie maker while the cleaning man is doing the floors with headphones and it’s choreographed so they orbit each other without him noticing that she’s belting her heart out, and I just loved that. If you’ve never watched the show, I highly recommend it.
I do also have one other exciting bit of news for the book, but I can’t share it quite yet, so stay tuned for updates about that later! Hint: it’s going to be beautiful.
And now, for the other part of my newsletter: Writing process!
Lately, I’ve seen a lot of advice floating around the internet, because, well, internet. Some of it is good for some and bad for others, and some of it is probably bad for everyone, but one thing that I think could ring true most of the time is that there are structures and guidelines to writing that are nice to know, even if one knows them for the purpose of ignoring them, and also that most people have to find their own process to discover and maintain a healthy rhythm for writing. I thought I’d share mine.
I have a demanding day job (I teach high school English and journalism) and I have two young children, so writing for me is often about balance, and also about having a spouse and children willing to be flexible and support my writing.
So here are a few things that have worked and a few that have not worked.
Ass Crack of Dawn Writing
I spent a few months being a 5 a.m. writer. This meant waking up an hour and a half before everyone else does, getting myself ready, and then writing until everyone else got up. I found that I can write about 1000-1500 words a day like this, but I cannot maintain it long term. It eventually went the way of my 5 a.m. workouts—which I also spent a few months doing daily before deciding that I did not want to be up that early and I don't know who she was, the woman who was doing that. Could she hold a plank for much longer than current me? Yes, but what she missed was that gorgeous moment of snuggling deep into a pillow and shutting her eyes against the impending sunlight.
Anyway, when I did that, even for a month, even for 5 days a week, I found that I could get to 25,000 words a month, and then supplement it with a weekend burst that could get it to 30-35k.
For me, this was not sustainable, but I also wouldn’t write it off as something to fall back on if a deadline required it.
Distracted Plotting + Sleepless Couch Corner
The second, and more sustainable method is distracted writing. I find this is a little better for plotting what comes next and sneaking in some ideas while my children are playing independently. This doesn't last, but on most days, there is a good 30 minute down time when we get home after they have a snack where they run off to play in the yard or upstairs. When this happens, I try to plot out ideas so that when they are asleep, I can do some serious drafting, one of two ways.
Sometimes, if I have a point I really want to work on, I skip a lot of sleep and draft from 9 to midnight. These are times I can crank out 4-5 thousand words, and though I can’t do that all the time, I can occasionally. Easier to maintain is an hour or so of writing, but I don’t want to do this every night, because I also like spending time with my spouse. He’s nice. So what this means is that the night drafting hour is about 3 times a week, so it averages out to 12,000 words in a month if I’m sleeping well and honestly, 60,000 if I’m not sleeping.
Wild Weekends
This is usually when I have a fixated “I need to write” day, which has meant anywhere from 10,000 to 17,000 words. This is possible because my spouse, though he is a journalist and a short form writer by trade, gets my process and is happy to bring me snacks and tea and sparkling water so I don’t forget to eat while pounding away at my keyboard. I like to think his Gomez Addams adoration here is healing the universe of male writers who demanded this from their wives just a little bit. I’m not sure what it says about me, but I do love a writing bender.
So that’s it, there’s no magic solution, basically the way I balance writing and my kids and a day job is sleeping less, and relying on a supportive family.
The other thing I want to impart here, that I hope I will for once listen to as I dole it out as advice, is to give yourself grace. I wish I could be better at this, at not beating myself up for waiting so long to do writing, for shelving certain books that maybe I still miss, and for comparing myself to other writers, when each of our journeys is ours alone and cannot be replicated.
And I hope that we all give each other grace, too. I know there have been balls I’ve dropped in the mental and emotional abyss that has been my grandmother having a stroke last month and passing away this month, and that more will probably get lost in the future. I’m trying to remember, when I’m tempted to be sad that someone doesn’t share something of mine or when my self doubt makes me think I’ve been forgotten, that life is complicated, and that sometimes forgetting to share, or like, or boost is not personal, but rather a function of our humanity. Anyway, let’s be kind to each other. There’s enough sadness as it is.
The TL;DR if you’ve skimmed: writing is hard, working and parenting are hard, try to get your sleep, carve out writing time when you can, be kind to yourself, and also hit up better living through chemistry and therapy if you are struggling with mental health.
TREAT YO’ SHELF to what I’ve been reading lately:
THE BREAKUP VACATION by Anna Gracia: This was SO GOOD. A college student goes on a vacation to follow a sort-of-ex who strings her along, only to end up meeting someone much better in this fantastic novel that captures perfectly what it is like to be new at adulting and love. I loved the main character, I loved the friendships, I loved the consent king of a love interest, and I loved the slow realization of the MC that her former situationship was truly toxic. BRB while I buy everything Anna Gracia has ever written; she’s an autobuy now. This one is available now!
BUSINESS CASUAL by B.K. Borison. A black-cat tattoo artist proposes a casual fling with her older brother’s friend with serious golden-retriever energy, thinking that his limited time in town will keep things temporary. In a surprise to no one, they end up falling fast and hard for each other, and it’s adorable. I can’t get over the way the MMC calls the FMC “Nova Girl;” that’s burned into my brain for hotness and heart. This is the first book I’ve read in the Lovelight Farms series, but I’ll definitely be back for more; I love that the author is local. Available this summer; on Netgalley now.
THE KISS COUNTDOWN by Etta Easton is about an event planner struggling to start her own business and fake dating an astronaut, only for her to find that his handsomeness and charm are almost impossible to resist at the same time he finds out that her loveliness and dedication to hard work and family are equally impossible to resist. In a surprise to no one, they’re perfect for each other, but things are complicated by his impending mission into space. Honestly, it’s gorgeous and I think astronaut romances are a new interest I’ve unlocked; between this and Jen Comfort’s THE ASTRONAUT AND THE STAR please, people, bring me more astronaut romances. Available in April; it’s also on Netgalley now.
Stay tuned for a newsletter with updates. You can find my socials and other fun stuff here.
I love calling it a "writing bender" lol